Yoga is amazing!

I miss it.
I truly do.
the supplies
the classroom
the students

I know what I am doing
is important though.
I am raising
my children.
I can return to work
but I can't return
to their childhood.

So I brought the classroom to them.
Well tried anyway...
big paper taped to the floor
a crayon for each of us
they watched, I scribbled
they attempted, I applauded
they moved on qucikly
I got my fix.

They made more marks
on the crayons
than they did on the paper!
What can I say
an artist has to start somewhere
getting to know your materials
intimately
doesn't hurt.

I have to say
there is something about this tree.
It calls me
us to it.

On our way there
the wind speaks.
Nature begins to say hello.
A beautiful monarch butterfly
crossed the street with us.
And two more butterflies
danced with us across the field
as we made our way there.

Then we have moments
where the sun peaks through
and I feel so blessed.
This tree shares
it's roots
it's strength
it's comfort

it's love.
I feel like it is
our family,
our family tree!
I went to yoga last night
for the first time in a long time
it was much needed to say the least.
But during the flow
I envisioned and became
our tree.
I felt
my roots
my strength
my comfort
my love.
Yoga is amazing!

Easton wants to walk
really bad!
He took a few wobbly steps
to me for the first time
where else...
at the tree.

Azalea is right behind him.
She is letting go
and standing for longer periods.
Do you think she is going to
look back at this pic and say
"mom! what was I wearing?!"

I may miss my job

my old self

my old life, but

these kids are my life.

They are everything.

We may go to the tree.

But I know 

I am
their tree.

Month by Month

Ok so I tried.
They are going
to be a year old
in two weeks!!!
Sep. 28th
I just can't
believe it.
I was looking back
at all the pictures.

And I tried.
I wanted to see
how they have
grown
each month.
I'll admit it,
my mom told me so.
She told me to
sit them down
each month
and take their picture.
I didn't.
I just took
a zillion pictures!

Trying to find
a good shot
of each
of them
on the same day
about a month apart
and yes
without the patch
seemed impossible.
This is the best
I got.

I wish I had
listened.
I wish I was
more organized.
I wish they were
in the same spot
each month.
The old me
would have
done that.
But this is
the changed me.
The new mom
of twins!
I tried.

Easton John is born.

Azalea Jayne is born.

1 Month

1 Month

2 Months

2 Months

3 Months

3 Months

4 Months

4 Months

5 Months

5 Months

6 Months

6 Months

7 Months

7 Months

8 Months

8 Months

9 Months

9 Months

10 Months

10 Months

11 Months

11 Months

I remember
every picture.
I remember
every moment.
The beginning
is bitter sweet
and
a little hazy.
The middle
just went by
so fast.
And the end
even faster!
It's hard
to imagine
that eventually
months will turn
into years.

And PS.
I wanted to put
them side by side
basically smaller pictures
in two colums
but in this blogger thing
I don't know how?!

PPS. Thanks Missy!
I was able to
put the pics how I want.
Yayyyyy!

Contact Drama

The contact drama
never ceases to
amaze me...
woke from nap
NO contact
found it in the crib
still soft
cleaned it
put it back in his eye
never even took off
the patch
wow almost too
easy
NOT!

playing before lunch
gone again
took off the patch
took off his clothes
took off his diaper
got out the flash light
searched the play area
went back to the crib
no luck.

lunch time
lunch over
keeps rubbing eyes?
but no contact
and no patch
huh?
happen to glance at him
his eye seemed teary
go to take a closer look
a sliver of the contact
is on his face
dripping down from his
contact eye
like a tear.

PANIC
did it break in his eye
are there more pieces
still in his eye?!
scooped him up
he is laughing
swaddled him
looked in his eye
flushed his eye with drops
he didn't like that
but hugs n kisses later
he feels better
I don't.

How does a sliver
of contact
after my search of him
for it
make its way
to the tear duct
of his contact eye?!
And the sliver
was still soft
not dried up and crusty
like they get
when out for too long.
Kinda freaked out
still havn't found
the rest of the contact.

We have back ups
4 of them
waiting
for days like today.
But I am done.
Done
with contacts
with patches
with searching
for today.

So we went
to our tree
worry free.

Still cute even with the drool dripping out of his mouth! 

Cuter... her or the overalls?!

Bonus of not patching today... profile shot of his good eye!

His favorite new thing to do, maybe he will come to yoga with mommy?!

How dare someone walk by our blanket!  She had to watch them till they were long gone.

He crawled over to her... love the brother sister moments!!!

They spent some time examining leaves.

Then played patty cake together... precious!!!

Contact drama...

What contact drama?

Something right

Went to a Dr. Apt. today

and I'm left feeling

insecure.

I'm a new mom

overwhelmed

raising twins.

Who knows best,

a medical opinion 

or 

a mother's intuition.

When is enough
enough.
Where is the line
between
this is who they are
and
this is where they

should be?

We all know
she's small.
She started out small.
She was born small.
She remains small.
She is
small.

How do you get bigger?
You eat!
Huh, sounds easy?
Not when your child
doesn't want to
eat.
Well let me rephrase that.
Doesn't want to eat
what is recommended.
OR
Doesn't willingly, happily
eat consistently.

But we must be doing something
right?
She is alive.
She is active.
She is growing.
She is eating... some, enough?!
She is just
small.

It's frustrating.
When all you really want
is to do what is
best.
Best according to who.
Her?
an infant child
The Dr.?
a medical professional
her Parents?
oh just the people who
spend every moment
with her...

I love this picture!
I love the moment
she and he.
I love that it's the three
of them.

I love that he
included me.

So I guess
I have to trust
that.

The good stuff.
Like holding
both
my babies.
Their little fingers
gripping mine.
Their smiles.
Their laughs.
Their reassurance.
That we must be doing
something
right.

Trouble times TWO

Ok, so I know
they look cute.
But looks can be deceiving.
Just when I think
I can do this!?!
It gets hard again.
And for once
its NOT about
the eye
the contact
the patch!

They move.

Everywhere.

All day long.

Over here.

Over there.

Together.

Separately.

Under.

Over.

Up.

On.

In.

They play.

They stop.

They move again.

Repeat.

All of it.

All day long.

Times TWO.

Two little bodies.

Two little butts.

Two little mouths.

Two to dress.

Two to feed.

Two to bathe.

There is TWO!

I knew this.

I know this.

But right now 

I am feeling it.

He comes.

She goes.

 

Discipline.

Discipline times TWO.

I feel like a broken record.

Get down.

Put that down.

No.

Don't touch.

Yucky.

I say it to one.

Then I say it 

to the other.

And of course

not just once.

All day.

Every day.

I'm not complaining.
This is just
where
we are.
Moving.
Crawling.
Going.
Growing.

Trouble
times
TWO.

The Tree... again

It's probably our last

HOT summer day.

The kind where 

even in the shade

the breeze feels like

warm tropical air.

I love that the shadow

from this tree

is five times the size 

of my living room.

And Easton still mangages

to crawl beyond the shadow

and into the sun.

He loves to move move move.

He passed right by me
and I managed to get
part of his hand
but got this beautiful leaf instead.

He probably spent
at least a half hour
playing with the stroller.
He has my feet
but his Daddy's legs.

Miss manages to stay

on the edges 

of the blanket 

most of the time.

She crawls a few paces 

and then plops her booty

where ever.

Happened to plop

right on the pop!

It made me laugh.

Totally staged
this one.
Totally lasted
all of 3 seconds.
Super cute
her hand on his shoulder
then he lounged forward
for who else
me.

All the space
All the leaves
All the sitcks
All the new things to find
and really
All they want
is to crawl
All over
mom ma

I will never forget
this feeling
TWO little bodies
stomping all over
me
and
my heart.

PS. they are
laughing
hysterically.

NAEA

National
Art
Education
Association

Today,
I would be going
back to school.

But thankfully
I am home
learning
how to be
a mom.

Then I thought of
all the children...

Nicole
Austin
Easton
Anderson

Jack
Tommy
Grant
and many more.
Azalea too!  :)

Not the students
on my class lists,
they are my teachers.
The strong little souls
who have shown me
how to keep going.

These are the lives
who have touched mine
through the blogs
I follow.
Without them
I honestly don't know
where I would be
today.

Bitter sweet it is.
All of it.
That I know them.
That I follow them.
That I get to continue.
More sweet though
definitely
more sweet.

Here's to
another year!
of learning
of growing
of seeing
the distance!

A gigantic
heartfelt
THANK YOU
to all the mom's
who blog
the story
that teaches
me.