Monday, October 31, 2011

Happiest Halloween

How much fun
is it to relive
all your favorite
childhood memories
all over again?!

Only this time
I get to create
the memories
instead of
live through them.
Carving pumpkins
was a riot!
They loved it.
They loved everything
about it.

the sight
the sound
the smell
the guts
the seeds
the excitement
and of course
the mess
Mommy and Daddy
got to celebrate
Halloween as well.
I channeled my
inner GaGa
and it landed me
Coolest Costume
at our party!
I am sure
if the little monsters
had come with us,
they would have
stole the show.
They are definitely
the Coolest
and the Cutest
to me!
They have even
managed to master
this past
Halloween week.
What a great trick
instead of treat
for Mommy!

All frogs do that
with their lips,
don't they?!

Time for a costume
gotta love it!

We are looking forward
to a family Halloween walk
through the neighborhood
So fun!
Pure fun
to see them
and now

This has been
the absolute
Happiest Halloween

Friday, October 28, 2011

Just do it!

As a mom 
there have been 
so many times
when I hesitate
simply because 
there are TWO!

But at the same time
when someone asks,
WOW twins...
how do you do it?!
My reply is 
I just do!
I have to
I have no 
other choice.

There are many things
I feel 
I would have done
with just one...
just yesterday
a year ago
I took home 
just one.

Easton John 
came into our home
And you know 
as much as 
having him home,
we were not 

So all the things
that could have
that would have
that might have
if there was
just one...
mean nothing to me
because we
have been blessed
with TWO.

And so today
we had
Twice as much fun
Twice as much mess
Twice as much artwork!!!
because Mommy 
decided to
Just do it!
Let me just say
I have been 
to do anything 
fun and creative 
with them.

So with nothing but
time to kill
I threw em in
the pack n play
while I ran around
like a mad woman
so excited
and ready to 

The kitchen
made a perfect studio.
I will never look 
at my kitchen
the same way again.
They were confined,
had to get through me
to go anywhere else.
The counter space
was perfect for 
the artwork,
which was out of the way
of the mini messy monsters.

We were a 
printing machine.
one foot
one hand 
one mess 
at a time.

I thought about 
doing it with 
just one...
at a time.
Leave the other 
in the pack n play.
But as soon as
I reached for 
just one
it did NOT feel right.
Sooo out came 
the BOTH of them
we all
just did it!

Clean up 
was probably 
their favorite.
I let em 
just play 
with the water
while I washed 
and dried
tried to anyway.
They were soaking wet
but clean!
I too was soaking wet
but NOT clean!

I will do this
I had a blast.
I felt a rush.
The rush of 
The rush of 
The rush of 
just doing it!

I do wish 
I had about 
3 more arms.
I did
I would have 
way more pictures.
That is the only thing
I wanted to do

But that's ok.
I got what I got.
And if anything
I got artwork!
I got memories!
I got confidence!
I can
just do it!

By the way,
this girl...

Easton had fun,
don't get me wrong.
We all had fun.

But she
was so into it!!!
She did not 
want to wait 
for her turn.
And she did not 
want to stop.
I am encouraging
to just do it!
Whatever IT is...
just do it!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

New Tradition

This past weekend
we were able
to have some
family fun
and start a
New Tradition,
Picking out PUNKINS!

It was a beautiful
perfect Fall day.
I think the kids
simply enjoyed
being outside,
considering it has
been raining non-stop.
We people watched.
We played
with the punkins
with the deck
with the grass
in the mud.

Easton was in his glory.
Such a boy,
such fun!

Azalea was all business
as usual.
She had to inspect
and then finally

Getting pictures of 
the two of them
and smiling 
is almost impossible
add a million 
new distractions
forget it!
But Daddy and Mommy
look cute.  :)
We had so much fun!
It was easy 
to loose track 
of time,
when you have waited
so long 
for moments like this...

We got our Punkins,
all of em!
some in the cart
some on the cart
some just so darn cute! 

So exciting,
New Traditions!
Makes me
all the moments
that much more.

Last Halloween,
he was home

she was not
that's ok.
We've come
a long way.
We are home

So Grateful,
New Traditions!

Friday, October 21, 2011

The Beginning

This was the day
of the beginning
of the eye.
We have officially
hit the one year mark.
Ohhhh only about
nine more years to go.
But hey
one tenth
of the way!

My babies
were still not
In fact, big boy
had to be transfered
via ambulance
to Children's Hospital,
not the hospital where
they were born.
So little girl
was left behind.
Each of them
now alone
as individuals
for the first time.

Mommy and Daddy
were visiting
two babies in
two different hospitals,
Honestly I don't even
really remember it all.
It was all just
so overwhelming
that I just did
what needed to be done
in each moment.

I remember
little things like
him looking so tiny
at three weeks old.
They wheeled
him away,
So innocent
So ignorant
of what was
about to happen.

I remember
the knot in my stomach
and not crying
but wanting to
really wanting to
but not
because if I did
I was afraid
I wouldn't stop.

I remember
seeing him after
the surgery
knowing it was more,
than what we thought
but still not really knowing
what would become of
the eye.

Funny how
in these moments
you find strength
that you don't even know
you really have.
taking each moment
as they come.

When we said good night
that night
having to leave
our brave baby boy,
the lights were low
the monitors were beeping
the machines were humming,
I leaned in
and he knew
Mommy was here.
His breathing picked up
his body was warm
he smelled so sweet,
I wanted to pick him up
I wanted to take him away
I wanted it all to
just stop.
But I didn't
I knew I couldn't
I knew it wouldn't,
a NICU mom knows
learns really fast that
tomorrow is a new day
tomorrow is one day closer
to coming home.

I didn't have the heart
to take any photos
that day
that marked
the beginning.
But here are
of them
the next day.
As I said good night
yet again
like I had before
and would again.
But knowing
we were one more day
closer to

I know he's got big cheeks, but these one's are still swollen from surgery.

She may not be next to big brother, but she can still sleep in the same position as him... so cute!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

On Her Birthday

When raising twins
rare are the moments
when you can enjoy
holding one child
without worrying 
about the other.
Even rarer is the moment
when you can enjoy
holding both children
at the same time.
Add to that
twin toddlers
and the moment
doesn't exist...
until today,
On Her Birthday.

This morning
we played.
So by mid-morning 
we were getting tired.
I scooped em up
and decided to rock
in Her chair
maybe read a book
maybe sing a few songs
hoping to pass some time
till they were rested
and ready for more.
Usually this might last
for 10 min?!
until today,
On Her Birthday.

They were happy 
just rocking
and singing.
We were all humming along
until I was suddenly 
the only one humming.
What is this?!
twin toddlers
sleeping on the same lap
in Her chair.

I drank in the moment
I closed my eyes
I felt their bodies
I listened to the rocking chair
I listened to their breathing
I smelled their hair
I looked around
I looked outside
I noticed the wind
I noticed the fall leaves
and then I remembered,
Her Birthday.

She waited for the news.
It took 3 years to deliver it.
On Easter Sunday,
she opened an egg.
It said, "Guess who's coming to 
Thanksgiving dinner?!"
Then she learned it was TWINS!
She was so happy.
But I'm sure she knew
and in the end I know
she knew.
She would meet them 
from a far.
Last year, today
she had been gone
3 months to the day.
But in their Baby Book
I still wrote 
Happy Birthday,

She held them
I know it.
I felt it.
She was in Her chair
with us
just like she used to do.
Holding those 
sweet little ones
looking out the window
enjoying the day,
On Her Birthday.

She may not have made it
to become a 
but to me 
she will always be a 
Great Grandma.

Happy Birthday Grandma!
Thank you for the gift today.
Thank you for helping me 
hold my sweet little ones
one more time
while they are still little.
I love you,

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Life goes on

Does this kid 
look scary to you?!
The only thing 
he has in common
with that ghost on his shirt
is the fact that he loves
towels, blankets
and even buckets 
over his head in an 
on again
off again 
game like fashion!
Add a little 
in there and you might
get an even louder
belly laugh from him.
Been wondering
how do you 
follow up your now
most popular post...
with our life
I suppose.

After the rain
when the clouds clear
when the sun comes back out
but the mist is still in the air
a rainbow appears.
And that rainbow 
is the blessing
of our everyday life.

These two little ones
at my feet,
this is probably the only thing
they do 
the same.
They have the whole house
Daddy's watch
while Mommy does her thing
and this is what 
they choose to do.
They don't stop.
So why should I.

You go with 
what you know.
And I know 
how to move on
how to get back up
and keeping living
our life.

Today we played
in our tent
while it rained
for real, outside.
Gonna have to
get creative.
When things change,
the weather
get creative.

Tried something new
this morning,

he hates when I turn
his head in the direction
of contact time.
So I found what else...
a toy giraffe!
and stuck it
to the side of
the changing table.
Yup in the same direction
as contact time.
It took his mind off
for a moment
long enough
for him to relax
and me to...
well you know,
the routine
of our life.
Something else new
that we have been
working on,
self feeding.
They are good at
picking up chunks
and feeding that
to themselves.
But the bowl
spoon thing... well
we gotta work on that.
She is so serious
anything new
is all business.
notice it's nothing
but fun,
but Her
look out
she's in the middle
of learning.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Dear Easton

My baby
My boy
I love you
so much
beyond what words
can express.

You are fearless.
You are full.
You are endless.
You are endearing.

You can do this.
There are so many days
when you make it
look easy.

But I know
you know
that there is a
to the days
that arn't easy.

Every morning
Every moment
and ends
the eye.

The eye
that can see
that is covered up
that wears a sticker
that bends your eyelashes down
that irritates
that itches
that rips your skin when removed,
that eye
is precious.

The eye
that can't see
that is pulled open
that is poked
that is rubbed
that is wearing a contact
that is learning
that is growing,
that eye
is seeing.

I am sorry.
I am so sorry.
That you have to

I am sorry.
I am so sorry.
That nothing about this
is easy.

I am sorry.
I am so sorry.
That your vision
comes with a price.

But Baby.
My sweet
little boy,
Mommy loves

I love you
so much
that I will do this
for you.

I will continue
to wake up
and do this
for you.


Mommy is doing
the best she can.
I am trying.
I am sorry, baby.
I love you.

And when we have
bad days
you have to know this,
I do this
I love you.

we will look back
and I pray
all this is worth it.
Because you deserve
a chance
at the very least
you deserve
a chance
to have the best

I love you.
I am so proud
of you.
Keep seeing the distance baby.
See the Distance.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

This day

We've been 
taking advantage
of the beauty
has to offer.
I remember
last October
they were still
in the NICU.
So everything
that I know
is new to them
feels new again
to me too.

the sights
the sounds
the textures
the traditions
this walk
this day
was perfectly

We saw this
rock sculpture
along our way
and I was just
drawn to it.
come to mind.
It also resembles
an eye.

this perspective.
Eyes have always
symbolized life
to me.
But now that my life
is literally about
an eye,
I see them
I see everything
Even leaves,
I see them
differently too.

This one
was falling
gently to the earth
when it landed
right on Azalea's lap.
She noticed it
picked it up
and looked at it
I mean
really looked at it.
It wasn't just
a leaf
it was a message

for her
for me
from above
of love.

There were other
leaves too.
Ones that made
and ones that
just didn't want
to let go.
We probably walked
for at least on hour
just enjoying
the morning.
As we made
our way
back home,
someone puttered out
still trying
to get used to
just one nap.
Someone else
was still
ready for more.
After some lunch
a real nap
and dinner
we headed back out
batteries charged.

For Easton
there is crawling
and then there is
turbo speed.
This is
turbo speed.
Little Miss
had some fun
with Momma
and her sweater,
even brother
found the game
fun enough
to crawl over to.

The tree always promises
a new adventure
on this day
it was sticks

and standing.
How cute is that?!
They both can do it
but not until
this day
did they

Seems like something
so simple, yet
for them
for me
it was
a moment.

The moment.
And with our new
(see, it all
comes back
around again)

We took some
glamor shots
where else...
on the tree,
of course!

This day
was perfectly
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...