Friday, April 27, 2012


I suppose anyone
could relate
their life
to a rollercoaster
I mean really
we all have
ups and downs
twists and turns
thrills and shrills

And really
for the most part
are FUN
a little bit of
danger mixed with
a big, giant seatbelt
add a few other
friends along 
for the ride
and hey
throw your arms
in the air
and let loose!

I remember
as a kid
wanting to be
old enough
tall enough
to ride them
waiting for
my time
my turn
and loving
every part of it
the hot day
the long line
the many sounds
the sticky seat
the anticipation
the ride itself
and the RELIEF
of living through it
all of it
it felt like an

But then
I got older
and rode them
less often
found them to be
more nauseating
than rewarding
and now
here I am
stuck on one
a rollercoaster
that I know
I won't get off
for quite

The rollercoaster
of Easton's Eye
more specifically
of managing 
Easton's contact.

I can't even tell you
how many different
ways I was going 
to write this post
a post that has been
if I ran to my blog
there's contact drama
with either bad
or even good reports
I'd be one 
busy blogger.

I want to say
I've changed
I want to say
I've had a moment
of clarity
of acceptance
of peace
on my rollercoaster
but then
the ride changes
and the moment
and old emotions

Here's just one
week with
the contact...
Easton wakes
I swaddle and sing
he now sings along
we get the contact
in his Eye
yes, somehow
it's finally
not necessarily
but tolerable
for both parties
he and I.

Life would be
if the story ended
Ha, if only!
so we move on
to breakfast
and patch time
it's play time
and then I'm
officially on duty
the never ending job
of keeping track
of his contact
where is he
where is the contact

So yeah... this week
well all was great
great day
nice enough
for no socks
I say this because
my big toe stepped
on something crunchy
went to pick up
the crumb
so I thought 
it was his contact!
it's still intact
huh... just one more
crazy story
to add to the already
mile long list.

Another day
again great day
kids laughing
kids playing
toys flying
imagine a big
but fun tornado
and I look down
to see a shinny
lil something
on the tip of a toy
look closer


yup, it's the contact
it's still intact
huh... just one more
crazy story
to add to the already
mile long list.

Here is when I think
I might do a post
on for all the times
we lose a contact
there really are
that many more times
when we lose
BUT find the contact.

Another day
again great day
kids playing
kids napping
kids back up
Easton no contact?!
check crib
this is normal
don't find it
shake blanket
check clothes
under crib
around crib
No contact
start questioning
when I saw it last
start looking
No contact
Daddy home
Daddy looks
Daddy usually finds
but still
No contact

Big Fat Bum
No clarity
No graditude
No peace
Hello old emotions
more money gone
Am I not used to
this rollercoaster
we have a backup
we will get more
we have been here
we will be here

One day later
Easton wearing
brand new contact
Daddy can't resist
Daddy goes back
looks again
Daddy finds it
right under his crib
in the same place
we both already
a thousand times over
pardon my language
but really... WTF.

Of course
it's easy to say
if only
if only our life
didn't have an Eye
or a contact
or a patch
or eye drops
or Dr. apt.'s
which all added
create one hell of a
rollercoaster ride
that we would not
have to be on.

But we do
and with that
we have one
really amazing
little boy
who is worth
every single
up and down
twist and turn
thrill and shrill
and I know
for sure
that at the end
of this
I just may be
but it will be
the most rewarding

See the Distance

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

More Moments

What creates
a moment?

Of course dogs stop to smell the flowers!

What defines
a moment?
What makes it

My street is lined and canopied with these blossoming trees.


And when the wind blows it looks and feels like Spring snow.

or even

Life is made
of moments

Our Tree in early Spring, a view we had yet to see.

that seem to
pass by
too quickly
and sometimes
ohhh so slowly.

But how
and why
do you remember
only some
a select few
of these

Ring around the Rosie...

a camera
can capture
a moment

Look out she is going in for... the patch.

stuck forever
that one moment

in time
in life
but some moments
are remembered
through experience
through touch
through taste
through smell
through sound
through sight
and a camera
well it either
one, is not ready
or there
to capture it
or two, just simply
wouldn't do
the moment
any justice.

Some moments
are purposely
and purposely

but others
other moments
take no effort
they just happen
and ready or not
the moment
and then

sometimes seared
right into
every fiber
every inch
of your memory.

There are many
in a lifetime
my lifetime
some I am
looking forward to

Patiently waiting for the Azalea bush to blossom... although it truly already has!

some I charish

and some
I could say
I would love
to forget
but really
all the moments
make me

they form
my perspective
one that sees
that the only real
the most important
is the one
I am living

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Art is Love

So my Mom
keeps everything
it's funny cuz
if I ask 
if she
a moment
it's usually not
but if I ask
if she 
has a tangible 
piece of 
a moment
it's likely so.

when I asked
if she 
had any
used crayons
of course
she did
she had mine
my childhood

A fairly large
plastic bag 
of really old
used up crayons
she peeled 
the wrappers off
for me 
I was going to 
melt them into
new ones
for the kids.

As I sat there
sorting colors
touching moments
trying to 
I did
of all the times
many crayons
in my lifetime
I remembered

the short
the fat
the thick
the oily ones
the ones that were
wrapped in
a black wrapper
labeled simply
they fit snugly
into a black
art case 
I used to carry 
and draw.

I was maybe 8
I would lay out
this portable studio
many times
next to a blank
bright white
fresh sheet of paper
pop out one
of the cool
from the case
and make 
the darkest
the smoothest
the richest
works of art
I remember.

And now 
here I am
here they are
my crayons
laying on
a white sheet
of paper
that my girl

just the other day
had drawn on

my crayons
her signature
scribble with circle
that in this moment
looks like
pure love
how fitting
that the fate
of these crayons
my crayons
is to be 
melted into 

and used 
to create
even more

And that is
what it is
creating moments
keeping memories
doing things
that we
with the people
for the people
that we

Even if
not everyone
wants to do
all that you

I told you the girl could hold the crayon for real!
you find
other things


in life
that you

Look who can do somersaults, my boy!
And you 
all that
you are 
with love.

I love Art.
I love the materials.

I love the creativity.
I love the possibility.

The purple blur near his shoulder is her flinging the play-doh!
I love the process.
I love the product.

I love the potential.

I love the mess.
I love the clean up.


I love the mistakes.
I love the moments.

For me
Art has 
always been
my life
and once my life
I had to find
a new way
to let the Art
back in
but really 
it's always been there
because now
I see
for me
Art is Love.

Friday, April 13, 2012

his glasses

This kid 
only knows
this life
his life
life with 
his Eye.

What is a pair
of glasses
his glasses
when from
day one
he's had
a contact
a patch.

So far
hasn't been
the problem
I don't think
he minds
seeing out of
his Eye.

After the trauma
I mean drama
of putting on
the contact
in the morning
it's then wearing
the sticky
the itchy
patch on his face
that he hates
putting it on
feeling it on.

For the most part
he will leave it
from 8 am
till 4:30 pm
all day long
he rocks
the patch
after his nap
he will need
a new patch
because when
he's tired
he rubs his eyes
and rubs the corner
of the patch off
or even the contact out
but he does not
continue to
remove the patch
even if it's half
stuck to his face...

you better believe
when I say

"Easton, you want
your patch off?"

no matter what
he will drop
to come sit
on my lap
while I slowly
gently peal
a large oval sticker
off my son's eye
no whining
no wincing
rock solid.

Of course
Sister is right there


she wants it
the patch
she will either
put it on
play with it
try to stick it
on our
Patch Place
just a fun little
work of art
we make
each month
and then stick
used patches
all over it
when we remember

other wise
the patches are
in the garbage
on my jeans
in my jean pocket
in my coat pocket
stuck to the counter
stuck to the frig
stuck to inside the dryer
you name it
a used patch
is there.
Ok back to Easton
patch freshly off
he will sit
for just a moment
let his eyes
allow his brain
to use
the other eye
and then
off he goes
but only for
a moment
because next
his glasses. 

So yeah
his glasses
I've been meaning
to reflect on
his glasses
the kid can rock
a pair of glasses
with the best of em
when he wants to
when he's busy.

But you know what
his glasses
are on
his face too
just like
the patch
they might not be
but I do think
they are
behind his ears

sometimes they
smush down
into his nose
sometimes they
bump over
to one side
of his nose
sometimes they
get stuck on
his shirt
getting dressed
my shirt
giving a hug
a blanket
when playing monster
sometimes they
smash into
his face
when he falls
or presses against
a window
a wall.

Let's face it
he's a kid
he's a boy
he is not
mindful of
his glasses
or sometimes
actually he is
and he just flat out
wants to look
wants to examine
wants to play
his glasses.

I don't usually
leave em on
in the car
you can imagine
pretzel doesn't quite
describe the shape.
I'd prefer not to
leave em on
when he's eating
but I do
you can imagine
yogurt on glass
now that you
most definitely can
see through!

This cloth

any cloth
I've relaxed
in my days
whatever works
in the moment.

And then
there are days
when he just
doesn't wanna

he will look down
he will run away
he will push his face
into anything
but the frames
I will get them on
he will take them off
and this
this war
his glasses
I will not fight.

I pick and choose
my battles
I will fight
and usually win
with the contact
I will fight
and always win
with the patch
I will fight
and I will win
with his Eye
I will see the distance
to restore
his vision.

But the glasses
his glasses
for the good eye
to have better vision
I confess
I choose
to encourage
not fight
that battle
most of the time
he chooses
and wins

yes, by that
I mean
he will wear them.

The following pics
are just cute
cuz she's cute

I mean... really

and smart

and look who's
watching now.

I really LOVE
the brown frames
I wanted them
all along
they were on
back order
but the blue

they were 
his first pair
his glasses.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Sweet Surprises

2:30 am
last night
he cries out
hoping he just 
needs to shift and
settle back down
he didn't

sleepy eyed and stumbling 
I wander into
their room
he's wet
soaked through
so in the dark
I fumble through drawers
peel off wet clothes
change his diaper
re-dress him and
somewhere in the middle
of it all

he starts
blowing kisses
literally smacking his lips
blowing into the night air
I can't help but to
laugh and smile
and then he laughs
a sleepy snugly lil laugh

suddenly I realize
he is dry and warm
and happy
I lean into his face
and smell his sweet cheeks
kiss kiss and kiss 
him good night
whisper lots of love
in his ear

I didn't want to leave
he had just given me
a gift 
at 2:30 am 
his love
I crawled back to bed
hoping to hear him
so I could go back in
the next thing I know
the sun is kissing
my face
good morning.

Sweet Surprises
that is what Easter
was full of
this year.

This girl

knows excitement
she loved Easter
she loved the basket
she loved the gifts
she loved the family
and she showed it
she said "Hiiiiiii-gh"
first time
no prompts
just someone or
something new
smiling face
sparkling eyes
sometimes hand in the air

and another
Sweet Surprise
my favorite blog
has giveaways to
one lucky commenter
out of over 500 comments
guess who was the lucky
comment #13?!
and guess what
the Easter Bunny
brought me
her newly released book
based of course
from her blog.

Grandma and Grandpa's
arrival brought
lots of smiles and more
Sweet Surprises.

It was no surprise
when we finally
got dressed and ready
to take our annual
Easter photos
and these were
my best shots

Of all the
Sweet Smiles
I manage to capture
I never manage to get
two smiles in one
oh but when I do
it will be a
Sweet Surprise!

This year at
Nannu and Nanne's
we got to join in
on the annual
Easter Egg hunt.

So fun!

So Sweet!

What a crew!
My sister and I
had to laugh
when we realized
4 of these kids
came from only
2 pregnancies!!!

Gotta love it!

Talk about
Sweet Surprises
my sister also
baked a bouquet
of cupcakes!

Yet another
Sweet Surprise
his new brown frames
look awesome!

Hey this yellow chair
is super cute
let's try to get a cute pic
of both of them...
uuhhh, maybe next time

as he launches himself
out of the chair
I think ok fine
cute pic of her...
no, not really
she just wanted to
climb out too.

That's ok
I'm cool with it
I like Surprises
I'll be patient
because when it
finally does come
my way
it's so very

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...