Friday, March 29, 2013

GOOD Friday

I've got about
an hour and fifteen
before this Friday
is no longer
Good Friday
and truly
is was GOOD

I woke
with my babies
and sipped coffee
and dipped paint brushes
with two of my favorite

she specifically
wanted to paint
has been asking
to paint
and told me
I'm going to paint
with the color brown

he is always willing
to do anything, once
and then will spend
the rest of the time
thinking of creative uses
for current things
his imitation of a
flickering flame
on a candle

he is drumming
flinging splashing
she is singing
dipping painting
with brown
GOOD stuff

another creative twist
art smocks
also make great
super hero capes

more GOOD moments
on Good Friday
bright shinning
happy smiles
my super star

to match the sticker
on Grandma's Easter Eggs

blinding beauty
warm sunny colorful
cheerful love

GOOD Friday
at Grandma's
on this Easter holiday

looking forward
to more GOODness
this weekend
and upcoming week

it feels like a Friday
it feels GOOD.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013



I used to wonder
when would I ever
graduate high school
finish my college degree
get a job
get married
buy a house
get pregnant
you know
grow up

and when I say
wonder when
I mean I literally
in grade school
sitting at my desk
thinking to myself
only 2 more years
then only 3 more years
then just 4 more years
and viola
I would be walking
across the stage
into adulthood
aka. no more homework
ha, how innocent was I

but that mentality
has always been
a part of me
I set a goal
and I can see it
way out there
in the distance

now as a mom
more specifically
as an imom
I still wonder
one of my biggest
fears... was when
when is he
going to realize
he can't see
well, can't see well
out of his one Eye

as an infant
this was obvious
he was oblivious
he would be patching
the contact would
of course, fall out
several times a day
for a long time before
I would even notice
and I would wonder
why doesn't he care
when will he care

then he got older
the contact fell out
less often
rare was the day
he would be caught
without a contact
but still
on the occation
nothing, no sign
no true ability
for him to communicate
that he could not see

well I have a
when... two and a half
no his contact did not
fall out, knock on wood
but I decided to give
them an early bath
just before time to
remove the patch
and consequently the contact
and at that moment
I realized
I could take the contact out
before removing the patch
you know, just to see
and immediately
he says
in a slight panic
seconds people
seemed like a lifetime
and never again
will I do that
I now know

I used the moment
to explain the contact
for the umteenth time
hoping this time
might be the time
it all starts to
make some sense
and who knows
he might loose the contact
in the future
while patching
and never even say a word
but at least now I know
he knows
and in a weird way
its reassuring

where am I going 
with all this
you might remember
the big "lottery" decision
contact or graduate to
just glasses
and I/we
decided to stick it out
with the contact
I now know why
this was a good idea

with only glasses
and patching 8 hours
every single day
if the glasses come off
because he took them off
because they fell off
because it's naptime
because he is changing his shirt
because we are in the car
because the lenses need cleaning
the list goes on
then hello, he can't see!!!
the patch essentially
would need to come off too!?!

I have never been
more grateful for
that DAMN contact
in my two and a half years
of his life... when!

so yeah
as you can see
the new lens is in
the new bi-focals are on
and we continue
to patch

he is a champ
he is a toddler
he is two and a half
he was so excited
to get his new glasses
he loves that they have
frogs on the frames

he keeps them on
he uses the bi-focal
he hasn't even flinched
this kid
this ikid
amazes me
he wears a contact
he wears a patch
and now
he wears glasses
all day
every day
and don't forget
eye drops
twice a day


he has his moments
he resists
and he should
and I am sure
he too will wonder
when will this journey
ever end
funny thing is
it will... end
someday will become
and then something else
will take it's place

there is a fine line
wondering when
wishing life in between away

when will they sleep through the night
when will they eat solids
when will they sit up, crawl, stand, walk
when will they talk
when will they feed themselves
when will they be potty trained
when will they dress themselves
when will they...
grow up

as much as I may
set goals
and still wonder
I also know
not to forget about
when might seem great
but now
right now
is real
is raw
is rewarding

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

stuck in the mud

The new glasses
bi-focal lens
for "the Eye"
and prescription lens
for the other eye
are ordered
we decided to stay with
a similar shape
a similar color
but a new pair
non the less

his current pair
are over a year old
some minor scratches
a crooked fit
only one frantic drive
to the optician
for a popped lens
and replacement ear cushions
he chewed the original ones off
no not the dog, Easton did
but hey not bad
for a toddler boy
romping around
with glasses on
during his evenings

in addition 
a new prescription
for his contact lens
a pack of 4, for back up
as been ordered
because of the new script
and minor eye ball growth
we tried a different fit
we tried a different lens
one that could potentially
stay in for 30 days
and then get thrown away
but no such luck
custom made
daily wear
it's been, it is

I knew from the moment
I took the potential lens
from the sample pack
it would be too shallow
but I tried it anyway
laid him down on the floor
right there in the optician's office
felt like an imom pro
wow have we come a long way
the very same office
on day one
when he was teaching me
now I was practically
teaching him

it was "flueting"
on the nasal side
I could see it right away
but Easton let
the optician take a
good long close look
at the fit
after which I removed
said ill fitting contact
and instantly placed it
in the garbage
with yet another
in a perfect world

and that is just it
our world is not perfect
I'd like to ask
who's is
life could always be
easier, I suppose
but then again
life could always be

I am worried
I am curious
as to how
all the new changes
will play out
will Easton notice
his new prescriptions
will he like utilizing
the bi-focal lens
will he tolerate
wearing glasses
all day long
and really will all of this
continue to enable
his vision to grow
and improve

I'd like to hope so
but you know
just as winter comes
to a close
and spring is
right around the corner
right now

I feel like we are
in between the two

making the most
of the moment

sloshing through
the best we can
with what we have

we have survived
the cold months
we are hopeful
for the gifts that
new growth can bring
but right now
we will continue
to get down and dirty
to work hard

the beauty
the blossoms
of our life
are already here
in these moments

but the future
of what is to come
will reveal itself
in time
I know it
I believe it
and it will be
even more
I can see it
in the distance.

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