Labor of Love

Labor Day
is officially
the last day
the end of
Summer
and while
this weekend
was busy with
back to school
activities
tying up loose ends
and what not
I am still
riding the wave
that was
this Summer

I purposely
photographed something
everyday during 
our last full week
of Summer
of home
with just me
and the kids
perfection
pretty much
our theme
this Summer season
and we earned it

Monday - had to take Daddy's hat with us

 last year
at this time
was so different
we were ending
our beginning
and beginning
the next unwritten
chapter

We made the local newspaper, watching Day 1 of this demolition

a lot of excitement
a lot of anxiety
a lot of a lot, ha
the school year
proved to be
overwhelming
challenging
and manageable
we survived

Construction, this Summer's obsession

so yeah
Summer
this Summer
and now
ending it
with a smile
of satisfaction
I can do this
I got this

I now get smiles for photos when I ask... most of the time

I remember
so long ago
dreaming
waiting
wanting
this life
an Art teacher
a job I love
Summer's off
equals time
time to share
with family
my family
my kids

Almost a daily stop this Summer, the playground

I had zero plans
other than to
soak in the sun
bathe in the beauty
and listen
listen to the laughter
of them
of course
we had our
ups and downs
but this time
I understood
every moment
every memory
was a meaningful
gift
time to unwrap
time to reveal
time to relish
now
 

and that is just it
this is where
we are
right now
I have let go
of yesterday
I am not
worried about
tomorrow
today is my fuel
today is my focus

Tuesday - swimming, this year I took them in on my own with the help of floaties

It's funny
that teachers/students
the education world
calls it
Summer "vacation"
and certainly
as a young rookie teacher
with no kids
and no responsibilities
in the beginning
Summer was a vacation
but now...
my first official
Summer off
home with the kids
vacation is the last word
I would use to
describe it
any mother knows
time spent with children
isn't necessarily work
I like to call it a
Labor of Love

for us
this Summer
started with one goal
potty train
the twins
no more introduction
no more play with
the idea
the equipment
the books
remove the diapers
replace with underwear
sit on the toilet
and you know, go

Patching in a pool never lasts long

  

She is a fish

well of course
it is not that simple
and of course
my twins
do nothing
the same
so here's
what happened
for milestone
recording purposes




Azalea, my little
willing to learn
eager to please
girl pretty much
trained herself
on the first day
she had successes
she had failures
on the second day
she had more success
less failures
by the third day
girlfriend got it

 

she is pretty much
good to go
within a month into
the process
I would find her
in the bathroom
yelling for me
as she just
helped herself
and now needed
my help to wipe
and finish up

Still Tuesday - just dressed, more construction play

we did transition
with the use of
pull ups
for long car rides
places where
the bathroom use
was questionable
and during
naps, nighttime
now at the end
of Summer
she is only using
pull ups for sleeping
and has very few
accidents, if at all
 

Easton, my big
blob of cute cuddles
boy is just as smart
but has less self control
and is oh so stubborn
everything is
in his own time
for the first month
he wanted
no part of the potty
he had the same
three day start as her
and it went no where
no success
so I simply
put him back in diapers
and focused on her
hello there are two
no need to make this
harder than it needs to be

Wednesday - Beach

one month later
she is a pro
so I tried again
with him
all eyes
all hands
all focus
on him
again three days
diaper free
little success
lot of failures
pretty much
threw in the towel
put the diapers
back on him
by day four
a light bulb
totally turned on
for him
even with a diaper on
he did not want to
wet himself
so off to the potty
we went and...
he went!!!

I do exist... it's tough being the family photographer

he really liked
the idea of
him being a tanker truck
and he gets to
"make a delivery"
and when he stands
he sprays his fire hose

hey whatever works
he stumbled through
the first week
of the second attempt
but huge progress
he has been
in and out of underwear
currently he is in
pull ups full time
he does not use them
to go #1
he still has trouble
identifying #2
and making it on time
he will get there
in his own time

Thursday - nice clothes, planned photo shot... no so good photos

He would not stand still, next to her or cooperate in general

talk about a
Labor of Love
a delicate balance
of encouragement
of knowledge
of practice
of reward
of patience
and
of challenge
knowing when
and how far
to push each of them
as individuals
fostering their abilities
yet recognizing
accepting their limits

She is an angel

 

yeah so
this Summer
our Summer
was no vacation
but yes
as I said
it was perfection
pure enjoyment
of them
where we are
right now

This year... the door was open

 

She was napping... we had a popcorn date, pretty much all Summer

I will end
this post
this Labor of Love
with a few
of this Summer's
vocab terms
according to them
yeah, you know
that twin language thing
they will sing
back and forth
this phrase
"ahh bay me moe"
several times
usually in the morning
before I go get them
I hear it
on the monitor
or just randomly
she will say it
and he will respond
same phrase
in a sing song way
too funny

Friday - wait a min. did he just nap

She is hoarding all the giraffes, we have many

She also coined
the name
"Miss Mastey"
no not nasty
but with a M
and usually uses it
when talking
as she does, non-stop
when referring to
a person
or an object
that needs a name
he by the way
totally understands her
as for me...
not so much
but it makes me
smile
 

He has coined
the term
"a fa lee key"
pronounced
as all one word
he pretty much
uses it in all
situations
and she totally
gets it, sometimes
she even uses it
he wants
afaleekey breakfast
he hears
afaleekey song
he finds a good
faleekey spot to sit
he even has
afaleekey day
its hilarious

A look at just the other eye for a change

Ps. yes, I know
they are STILL
in cribs
one goal at a time
just today, no lie
they started
getting out!!!
was planning on
transitioning
during Christmas break
might be a little sooner
now...

Pss. darn, I so tried
to publish this
on Monday
Labor Day
and then
before I knew it
midnight...
I need to
go to bed
my alarm
will be ringing
too soon
back to school!

Dear Eyepatch

ok so I am
going to try to
write this
without sounding
bitter or angry
because I'm not
in 2 1/2 years
I have grown
gained perspective
but there are times
when patching
STILL sucks

a few other imoms
have recently written
similar posts
Anderson's Bobble aka. Mom
Austin's Mom
Tommy's Mom
I have since been
inspired
interested
in my own experience
it kinda feels like
an imom homework assignment
YES, I challenge
the rest of you imoms
or anyone really
living with a daily
necessary nemesis
this is not easy
it's been rattling around
in my head
for a while now
I guess I'm
just gonna go for it
just gonna be honest

Dear Eyepatch,
I never really imagined
you in my life
really I had no clue
you existed until
I was forced to
stick you on my
beautiful baby boy's
sweet innocent face

in the beginning
I will admit
I was in complete denial
of the relationship
you and I would develop
I was determined
to ignore you
and to not let you
define my son
or my family

in fact this sounds
so ridiculous now
but I refused
to take your picture
thinking that some how
I could avoid you
and my camera
and all the moments
you would steal
but I quickly
and coldly realized
you were going to win
that battle

you are on my son's face
everyday
for most of the day
for nearly the next
decade
his entire childhood
I would be the fool
to not accept that
to not capture him
his life
let's be clear
I'm not photographing you
I am remembering HIM

so here it is
the first photo
had to dig for this one
I remember it clearly
Easton was barely
3 months old
Christmas time
Daddy was watching football
it was time to patch
and he wrote on you
it was the first time
we tried having fun
with you
all I remember is
it was painful
I really didn't find you
very fun at all
back then

but with or without you
my baby boy
was growing
cooing and moving
smiling and seeing
he was
he is
so brave
you covered
you hid
his strength
his strong eye
and he just kept
right on going
growing
how could I not

you collected many things
along the way
eyelashes for one

tears for another
many many tears
Easton's and mine
to say that you
haven't created a wake of
sadness anger frustration fear
in your path
would be a lie
but now
I am happy to say
we still cry
but much less
over you
we have better
things to do

Easton finds many things
to do with you
other than keep you
on his face
but overall
I think he tolerates you
quite well
he knows you
are his
he knows you
belong on his eye
he knows you
are not an option
sometimes he even
asks for you
when you don't need
to be around
I do wonder
other than happiness
how he will feel
when you are
permanently
not around anymore
or for that matter
how I will feel

for a long time
I really just
wanted you
to blend in
I liked that you
were boring
and beige
you had already
created enough
of a distraction
I felt we noticed
you less
and saw him more
when you matched
his skin tone

however the bottom line is

a patch is a patch

and overtime

and with support

I began to embrace you

and dare I say it

have a little fun

with you

this is Easton's first

colorful patch

yes, I willingly

photographed this one

acceptance
is a funny thing
is no easy thing
as much as
anyone would like to say
it is like a switch
on or off
yes or no
real true acceptance
of a challenge
or difficulty in life
takes time
it's a perspective gained
a path walked down
an experience
a stage grown into
and with a year
of boring, medical patches
we were ready
to change you
to gain some control
over you

I was ready to
accept that if you
had to stick around
we might as well
have some fun

and again
let's just be clear
you are NOT fun
really and truly
I am sorry
but I hated you
and in some ways
still do... remember that
acceptance thing
it takes time
but you see
when we have fun with you
people notice
well they noticed
when we didn't have fun either
but I digress

people see you
all bright and colorful
covering my child's eye
and they can't help it
they open their mouth
and while sometimes
they try to mean well
they are curious
they are compassionate
but what they don't realize
they are countless
one of the many
many many many
comments about you
and I just instantly 
get annoyed
get angry
mostly because
it's not about you
it's about HIM
I still get worked up
because I just don't understand
why people can't simply
see past you
past the freackin patch
and see him
say something about
him

that is
and will continue
to be my biggest fear
until you go away
that people
adults kids
Easton's peers
will only see you
before they take time
to get to know him

I know I may sound
hipocrytical
I have a blog
about a son who patches
I write about it
I call attention to it
hello Dear Eyepatch
but that is just it
you are merely a part of us
you are not all of us
and I want all families
not just ifamilies
to know we are more
than just a family
who patches
patching does not define us
we live
we love
we laugh
just like everyone else
and there are people
families just like us
which helps us
feel less alone
especially when
we are doing
everything but
laughing and having fun
with you 

The infamous, discontinued giraffe pattern patch... obtained from trading patches like baseball cards, who knew?!

its weird
sometimes I feel
this was our fate
and honestly
I would not want it
if given the opportunity
to have it
any other way
you see
as much as you have
collected from us
I have been collecting
from you
every time Easton
puts you on
I collect more and more
strength
I collect more and more
gratitude
I collect more and more
love

It might be time for a new opening blog pic?!

I may hate you
but I do appreciate you
I see your value
I see your work
you are worth
my imom effort

yet I feel
I need to make
myself crystal clear
one more time
Easton (and Azalea)
are true and precious gifts
they came in the form
of tiny miracles
and have blessed
and continue to bless
our lives everyday
they are perfect
they were perfect
from the moment
we knew they were ours
vision or no vision
with or without you

you offer Easton
a chance at better
the best possible
vision
and for that
I am grateful

so I am going
to continue
having fun
choosing colors
and patterns
and themes
mixing and matching
picking and patching

Are we seriously already ordering some patterns in the "biggest" size?!

struggling and sticking
saving and collecting
from you
I will admit
I have many of you
some special versions
of you are tucked away
in baby books and keepsakes
other forms of you
decorate our home literally
and inspire me daily
every version of you
peeled from his face
handed to me
thrown at me
or found
equals courage
equals hard work
equals time spent
patching
one step closer to
seeing the distance

Shout out to #camopatchkids Instagram on Sundays!

one day
you will
go away
and I will do
a happy dance
a grateful dance
a halleluiah dance 
but I will not
for one second
forget this face
his face
that you
are a part of
I know that
I understand that
I accept that
I see that... now

Yes!

Yes, we visited this place last year
Yes, I try to match their outfits everyday
Yes, some days they purposely don't match
and that in my head is matching, ha
Yes, I am loving that I can do my little girl's hair

Yes, they would not sit in the boat together
Yes, if he sat down she got up
Yes, they love each other fiercely
Yes, they need their own space

Yes, I love this giant bouncy thing
Yes, I love even more that my Mom loves it too
Yes, it was the perfect day
Yes, it was still only 10:30 am

Yes, this boy makes my heart skip a beat

Yes, my Mom is possibility having more fun

Yes, he will drive one day

Yes, we tried to take a cute pic together
Yes, this was the best I got

Yes, I love those big, white, puffy clouds

Yes, I am up there with both of them
Yes, they were afraid to go by their selves

Yes, it was just as much fun for me too

Yes, we did it more than once

Yes, I have nothing to say for this pic
Yes, I still like it anyway

Yes, she was obsessed with this water pump
until she mastered the ability
to get the water to flow perfectly

Yes, I love this pic because of her hair
Yes, she is whipping back and forth

Yes, everyone says they look like twins
Yes, everyone says Azalea actually looks like my Grandma, my Mom's Mom
Yes, sometimes we call Azalea little Millie (Grandma's name)
mostly because of her attitude and actions though, feisty lil firecracker
Yes, it is amazing how they have never meet but I feel like they have
Yes, I miss my Grandma
Yes, she would be so proud

Yes, this woman is amazing
Yes, her smile is warm and genuine
Yes, her heart is made of gold
Yes, I am the luckiest daughter in the world

Yes, it took her seconds to master this

Yes, he had to master it too in his own time
Yes, he is currently obsessed with all things construction
Yes, after discovering this he did not want to do anything else

Yes, I think he is in heaven

Yes, she will keep running and running if I let her
Yes, he will only go so far and then stop and wait for me

Yes, he wanted to pull the wagon
Yes, he wanted her to get out
Yes, he was capable of pulling it with her in it
Yes, they are in a stand off

Yes, her face is perfectly in the circle of the wheel
Yes, he loves tractors
Yes, for whatever reason was afraid to sit on it

Yes, we are working on the whole peddling thing

Yes, Grandma was pushing more than they were riding

Yes, we ended the day with a sweet treat

Yes, he dropped his and ended up eating mine

Yes, this day, this month has been fun filled to perfection

Yes, I do say no daily
Yes, it is way more fun to say YES!!!