My old Bubby

Where do I
begin
how do I
begin
to explain
the relief
the gratitude
the joy
of
the embrace
after
it's over

Do I start with
last night
and how
I let them take
an extra long bath
made extra bubbles
washed extra good
and literally
soaked
every second in

Do I mention
how we danced
in the living room
to Bruno Mars
just the way you are
extra loud
extra late
Daddy and his girl
Mommy and her boy
family of four
having fun as one

Maybe I mention
the anxiety
the sleepless night
the one that
I would of had
regardless
but the one that
Easton had too
he knows
he may not be able
to say it but
he knows

Conversations
with a toddler
an almost two year old
late at night
mid hysterics
holding him tight
hugging his heart
humming in his ear
realizing my baby
is growing up
right there
in my arms
in the middle
of the night

And there is
nothing
nothing like
saying good bye
letting him go
handing him over
and telling him
it will be ok
you go take a nappy
you got your blanky
you go to sleepy
I will be right here
I will see you
when you
wake up

Strong
Proud
Prayer
as I watched
him
calmly
confidently
courageously
get carried
away
Peace
I felt peace
I felt your
prayers
they carried him
down the hall
they surrounded him
and I could see it
literally and truly
it was beautiful

The Dr. finally
came to find us
assured us
of success
however
his glaucoma
is back
never left?
who knows
but we came home
with an extra drop
back to our
old routine
no big deal
but harshly realize
this is a tough
battle
one the drops
will not always
fight and win
another worry
for another day


And ironically
as our journey
continued on
seemingly
relatively
alone
we were pleasantly
surprised
with the opportunity
to meet another
newly crowned
ifamily
and I felt a full
circle moment
on a day
when I might
question

why must I
why must we
why must he
experience
endure
we got to be
the key
to a door
an ambassador
an anchor
an offer
of more
support
to a fellow family
now about
to walk
along our path
and if I
can guide
can be that light
than this
just might
be alright

Recovery
went smooth
went fast
and soon
we were home
and greeted
with love

she missed us
him even more
no nap
no way
she would lay
without
Bubby
Easton crib
she stood and said
confused and
concerned
quickly was
comforted
with our arrival

they know
he knew
she knew
she knew
he knew
and now
they both
know
and that
just makes me
happy

this kid tho
this kid is new
one thing
I didn't realize
one thing
I didn't really
say good bye to
was my beauty
my wayward
wandering
left eye turned out
cute lil punkin face
baby boy
is gone

I mean
I knew
but I didn't
know
that it would be
so different
he is healing
and time
will tell
will show
the new
his new
look
but I already
miss
My old Bubby