Not the same

So I'm home
and it's a bit
bittersweet
loving the time
knowing the time
is limited
admittingly there was
an adjustment
I had to increase
my level of
patience
but really it wasn't long
before we all
fell back into
our familiar 
daily routine
of knowing
Momma's home
and here to stay
what a wonderful day

LOVE happy accidents, like her hand!!!

our mornings
are lazy
I love LOVE
my alarm
the sweet sounds
of them
singing
yesterday it was
Easton
every word
every song
that we sing together
each night
Daddy and Bubby
Mommy and Sissy
Nelly at our feet
first always, the ABC's
then Barney's
I love you song
then Happy Birthday
those three
in that order
are a must
and that is what
I heard that morning



anyway, the sound
of him was so sweet
I wanted to grab
my phone and record it
but once I actually
woke up enough
to realize it
Azalea started singing
with him... and well
that wasn't allowed
"No, No Zalea
it goes like this..."

He attacks her in the most gentle, loving, brotherly way... but he attacks her!

she did get her
morning moment
today, he was
still sleeping
so she took
the opportunity
and started singing
she not only knows
the songs
the words
but the melody
the long notes
the short notes
girlfriend puts together
her own re-mix, no joke
it is simply the best

Talking, singing, explaining everything, all day long... such a girl!

it makes me think
of how far
we have come
I remember hearing
simple cooing
giggles, silly monkeys
dada mama baba
and every waking
morning in between
it fills my heart
to know
to see
to hear
how they have grown
but it saddens me too
now I wake
from a real alarm
and the morning
moves... fast
I wake them
instead of them
waking me
I sing, You are my Sunshine
but it's
Not the same
a simple reminder
of how life
has changed
I know we still have
weekends
but it's
Not the same

Told him to stop attacking her, so now he is attacking the air...

don't get me wrong
I actually do
love my job
and I really don't mind
being a working mom
it was an adjustment
obviously
but we have managed
and it is working
being home though, now
as nice as it is
it is almost harder
realizing
all the little things
I am missing



if anything this break
is slowing me down
helping me see
giving me perspective
to charish
to embrace
each and every
second
soak it up
and ring it out
and bathe in
these moments
I am so blessed
I have to remember
I have to rejoice
these feelings
need to fuel me
through the next
challenging chapter

The only "outfit" pic I could get of them looking like twins, ha!

Easton's last Eye apt.
with our original PO
is Monday
and ironically
Easton's EUA
with our new PO
is Tuesday
to say these events
arn't weighing on me
is a lie
but I am trying
truly to push it all
away
and stay forever
in today



when I say it's
Not the same
it's not a bad thing
it's just different
life changes
and so should we
at least I know
when it comes to
Easton and Life
with his Eye... it's
Not the same
we have accepted
this journey
we have grown into
this journey
we are more confident
in traveling to the end of
this journey



the contact
Easton can now say
"let me blink it on"
he knows I have to
put it in his Eye
but he can feel
when it is on his Eye
and he knows he
can control that with
his Eye movement
and blinking
AMAZING
I simply could not
see this day
when I was leaning
over his infant face
terrified to wake him
from his sleep
while shaking crying
cringing at every
attempt to get it in
no less on his Eye



the patch
Easton can now say
"it's not sticking"
he will come to me
or to his daycare lady
and request a new patch
he will press on
his patched eye
or even my eye
and count to 10
on his own
lately he has been
telling me
"I have two eyes"
"I have one eye"
almost as if he is
unsure or questioning
I reassure him
you have two eyes baby
you will always have
TWO eyes
when we put the patch on
you are using one eye
you have one eye, right now
just while patching
honestly, it breaks my heart
typing this makes me
choke up
it is always a punch
to the gut
when he realizes
his condition
on a new level of
understanding
mostly tears of pride
but some of sadness
an added bonus
he is getting his first
lesson in math  ;)



the glasses
Easton can now say
"put my glasses on"
he knows
he wants
his glasses on
after the patch
comes off
not sure if it's
the routine or
the vision
that is prompting this
but either way
I'll take it


Love this pic because it is NOT in focus.

 as you can see it's
Not the same
I am anticipating
more change
on the horizon
his prescriptions
might change at this
next Eye apt.
new contact for distance
bi-focal glasses
for all day wear
and of course
the pressure
please God
give him good pressures
at this point
I am prepared
for anything
I am not ignorant
to the game of chance
that is glaucoma
but regardless
of any pressure
I am hopful
I have faith
that we will
react accordingly

Her best friend... the boo boo bunny.

and that my friends
is me trying
really trying to
stay positive
lets not dwell on
all that is possible
potential harm



I am happliy
going to wish
our beloved PO
farewell
I might ask a few
questions
just because I know
I prefer her answers
I am going to
wake the next morning
anxious for
reassuring answers
and continue to plan on
everything working out
in the end
because
that is what
seeing the distance
is all about
see
even I am
Not the same