Friday, December 30, 2011

Holiday Recap

Better late
than Never
so here goes
a Christmas post
one last time.

Christmas Eve
was met 
with some old 
traditions...
these lights
have been bubbling
on my Mom's tree
since before 
I was born.


and some new...
watching my children
attempt, key word
to open 
their gifts.
I will spare us all
with every single photo
but BEFORE openning
pretty much every gift
both of them
had to
play with
pick up
and
sit on
every single gift.


Then they would
attempt, again key word
to unwrap
someone would assist
make an initial rip
here or there
you know
the kids would follow
continue with the rip
but once they had
a piece of paper 
actually in their hands
that was it
game over
piece of paper
is way more fun 
than unwrapping
a big box.
Duhhh

So we went with it
carried on 
openned and played
openned and played
lots of laughs
as evident in 
this year's 
Christmas Family Photo
hey you can't win em all
 

This was an attempt
at getting the two of them
to actually sit, ha
for a photo together
after this quick snap
Easton then catapulted
himself right out of the chair.



Once we got home
Buddy, the elf
made his last appearance
for the Holiday Season
then off to the North Pole
he went 
till next year.
He might be renamed
next year?
If the kids 
will be able to...
we will see.

No Buddy
you are NOT a
Cottonheaded Ninny Muggins!




Christmas Morning
arrived with excitement
before heading to the tree
both of them had to
ride the new turtle
they got the day before.
We had to put a
Boppy pillow
under it
so Azalea's lil legs
could reach the floor.



Openning gifts
was a bit of the same
play with box
play with paper
kinda unwrap
play with more paper
eventually
play with new toy.

Easton got a new
Patch Pal
Patchy, the Pirate
I have a feeling
there is more
of this to come.





Among many things
Azalea got a scare
from Daddy's new 
bear claw slippers.
Too funny!
She is just now
getting more comfortable
being in the same room
with 
them.




And Mommy
got her shot!
Love it.
Love them.
Love the love
they share.


Christmas Day
ended with more 
tradition
more family
and one last 
family photo.
I'll take it.
I'll take all of it.
We had a Merry
Christmas.




Friday, December 23, 2011

Chirstmas Magic

When he looses
his contact
again
for the gazillionth time
it feels like
it's never 
gonna let up.


You check
his clothes
his crib
his highchair
the kitchen
the living room
the hallway
under toys
and at some point
you just
stop
but the funny things is
your instinct to look
really doesn't
stop.

 

So I'm eating dinner
I look down 
and there it is
a little tiny shinny spot
on the carpet
in the middle of the house
where the most traffic is
where we all looked
and walked over 
so many times.

Christmas Magic
the Contact Fairy
who knows
but we got it
back,
I still believe!

 

So Grandma and I
packed the kids 
in the car
while Daddy stayed 
home and baked 
Christmas Cookies.
 

We were feelin it
that Christmas Magic
so off to see 
Santa 
we went.
It was a perfect night
cold but not freezing
the line to see Him
was just long enough
so we waited.

She professionally
people watches.


He goes
He sees
He touches


They were perfect
It was perfect
The suspense
was building
the children 
were buzzing.

We arrived
on his sleigh!


The jingle bells
were jingling.


The little boy
was touching.


The little girl 
was watching...
a train up above.

 

And then...

I think 
everyone has
a memory
a feeling
a sight
a smell
of that momemt
your moment 
with Santa.

To bring your child
my children
to this moment
and see 
it happen
for the first time
the Magic 
is undeniable.
 

He who
doesn't go first
who is 
oh so shy
was the first
was not afraid.

And then
you start
to believe
even more
in that Magic.

She who 
normally leads
followed her
brother's lead
this time.

We were there
in His presense.
Christmas Magic


Pure fun
that is all 
I can say.
It was 
pure fun!

We came home 
to the smell 
of freshly baked
Christmas Cookies.
Can Christmas
get any better
than this?!


Let's just clarify
one last thing...
yes, he bakes
but I frost!  ;)



Merry Chirstmas!

Wishing everyone
a bit of that 
Christmas Magic!

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Don't waste it


Been feeling
many different
feelings
lately.


 We started something
new...

The kids go
to a babysitter
once a week
for two hours.
They have only
been with family
till now.
I felt they needed
to get used to
this new concept
to get used to
the new babysitter
and give me a chance
to simply
catch up
on MY life.

I knew Easton
would have
the harder time.
They both
are fine with
me leaving,
I go quietly.
The sitter says
they do great
have fun
play
snack
crafts, etc.

But both times now
when I come back
Easton sees me
and starts to cry
almost like
he finally realizes
what just happened.

 
Azalea, of course
is the opposite
she just looks up
and smiles
and is pretty much
ready to do
whatever is next.
She gave
new meaning to
Miss. Independent
literally
the day
she was born.



I know I know
what is two hours?!
Yes, it flies by.
Yes, it breaks my heart
to leave
to come back
to see him cry
to see them have fun
without me.

But I also felt
something new,
Mom adreniline?!
I don't know
what else to call it.

I get home
I relax for
a moment
and then
I don't want
to waste it.
I find something
to do
and
I do it.
I do it with
Mom adreniline
like a crazy lady.

Yes, because
I have two hours
but also because
they are not
with me
they are not
with family
so I will
not waste
this time.
I will use it
I will do it
I will be the best
I can be
especially since
I let them be
without me.

I feel like
when I go back to
work
when I go back to
my life
when I go back to
them
I want to be better.
I want the
sacrifices
to be for
something.

I will be
a better teacher
because I am
not with
them
and I will be
a better Mom
when I am
finally
back with
them. 

Does this
make sense...
Mom adreniline.

With it being
the end of
the year
and
the start of
a new one,
my last one
with them
home
with them
with Easton's Eye
being... well
what it is.

 
I just don't
want to
waste it.

I don't want to
waste anything
time
moments
opportunities
health
none of it.

Don't waste it!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Christmas Prayer

Just when
you think
the Eye is 
semi predictable
think again.

Went to the Eye Dr.
yesterday
his Eye pressure
for monitoring 
his Glaucoma
should be lower
than 18
Dr. kept getting 
readings of 28
not good
asked her 
what reading is 
really bad... 40.
So at least 
his Eye is not 40.

She wants to 
see him again
in 2 weeks.
She debated 
4 weeks with eye drops 
or 2 weeks 
with better instruments.
He has no other
signs or symptoms
of Glaucoma
so we will go
to her other office
with the better instruments
and pray.

The appointment 
will take longer
she will dilate
both eyes.
If the pressure
is not down
he will go on drops
for about a month
if the pressure still
is not down 
he will have to 
have surgery 
to release the 
pressure.


Other than that
the appointment
and the rest of
his Eye
was great.
He was so good
with the exam
and the contact
it literally brought
tears to my eyes
so proud.
He was a rock
no wiggling
no resisting
no whinning
no crying
it was almost
like he knew
just how important
it all was.

 

It's hard
not to worry.
I look at him
and look at
his Eye
you would never know
pressure is building?!
He is just
as silly
as happy
as active
as he always is.
I truly thought
the visit was just
routine
and now
the knot
is back.

But it is
what it is
AND it is
Christmas
so holiday cheer
we will bring.
Over the weekend
we tried
Bingo Dot Painting
sounded like fun
figured I could
turn it into wrapping paper
for holiday gifts.

This is what
the paper
looked like
before we even
got started!


Easton was way more
interested in
painting his fingers
than dotting the paper.


Azalea was the complete
opposite.
She preferred to stay
clean
and also really tried
to dot
correctly?

Not sure
if there really is
a correct way to
dot paint
but if there was
she did it.


They both
had a lot of fun
and that is really
what the goal was
dots
marks
smears
it all got on the paper
and
the gifts got wrapped.

Then of course
we had to have
snacks n sippys!
Daddy taught them
how to lay down
and drink
since they have trouble
tipping the sippy up
to drink.
So cute
he lays
and then
she lays.


It has been
such a busy month
this is
such a busy holiday
I know 2 weeks
will be here
before I know it.
Christmas will come
and go
the New Year will
ring in
and then we will
be sitting in
the Eye chair.

In the meantime
I am not going
to worry
I am not going
to cry
I am not going
to wish it all away.
But I will
pray.
I will pray for
peace
love
joy
and low pressure.
That's not too much
to ask
for Christmas.
Right?!

Monday, December 12, 2011

O Christmas Tree

O Christmas Tree
O Christmas Tree
O Christmas Tree
O Christmas Tree

and the song
goes on
and on
and on
with just those words
at different pitches
to the tune of the song.

My Dad used to
sing it to us
and still does
and now I sing it
to them
just like that
the only way
I know it.


Christmas does that
brings back
all the memories
like this
ceramic
Christmas tree.

It reminds me
so much
of my Grandma,
every year
she displayed hers
in the front window
on the table
that my monsters
now climb
all over
like a jungle gym.
I wonder what
she would
say about that now.


I never really
even liked the tree
growing up
it was rather small
hard and shinny
so not what
Christmas trees are.
And the lights
they just stick out
like spikes
on the edges
it kinda scared me
actually
when I was really young
but then something
changed.


I saw it
differently.
I like it now.
I like that it
sits on my kitchen counter
glowing
all different kinds
of bright colors.

I like that it
reminds me
of old Christmas
memories.
I guess
you could say
I've aquired a taste
an appreciation
for what it
represents.

Really don't all
Christmas trees
do that?!
Especially the ornaments
each one of them
tells a story
of all the Christmases
Past
Present
and Future.


I often wonder
what memories
the kids will have
if any
of this time
not just Christmas
but this time
with me.

I know
they are still
so very young
I have few
if any
memories
before the age
of two.

But sometimes
the day ends
and I just wonder
what was accomplished
what was learned
what was taught
what will be remembered.


Raising twins
has been a bit
of an organized
chaos
trial and error
live and learn
not ideal
not perfect

Just last night
bath night
I was dressing Easton
and Azalea was playing
she tripped
on his jammies
face first into the floor
instant swollen
bloody lip
the worst boo boo
so far.

Luckily Daddy
ran to the rescue
my hands were busy
naked boy
fresh out of the tub
was in my hands.
It's tough
sometimes
especially during the day
when I'm
on my own.


Also this weekend
I took out
Rick's contact
just to see
if I could
well I knew I could
but you know what I mean
he winced
he shuttered
the thought of
my fingers
headed for
his eye
it was just weird.

It reminded me
how in the beginning
it was hard
just to even attempt
going into
Easton's Eye.
I can only
imagine
what it's like
for him.

Memories
what will they
remember
who knows
at the end
of the day
I can only hope

the love
the laughter
the singing
the dancing
the playing
the praying

maybe even
this ceramic
Christmas tree
is what is
glowing
in their little
minds and hearts.


Maybe they will see
that it
along with
all the rest
of life
is more than
just
what you see.

It's more
there is more
It's what you
make of it
It's all of it.

 

O Christmas Tree
O Christmas Tree
We are busy
making memories!

Friday, December 9, 2011

Let it Snow

Yay it snowed today!
Always love 
the first snow fall 
of the winter season.

Just something about
waking up
to a fresh blanket
of snow
covering the outdoors.
It instantly makes
our home feel
that much more
warm and cozy.

So as the kids
ate breakfast
this morning
the Christmas tree
was glowing
the Christmas songs
were singing
and the snow
was falling.
Tis the Season!



Had to get out
their big winter coats
for our weekly trip
to our new
play group.
After stuffing them
into their car seats
considering we didn't
have time
to readjust the seatbelts
for their now oversized
little bodies
we made it to the facility.
I didn't bring
my camera this time
I didn't want
to be THAT mom
but I probably will
again soon.  ;)

I have to say though
this lil elf


did NOT face plant
off any mats today.
No sir
he swung those lil legs
around every edge
of every mat
and crawled down
feet first
on his tummy
everytime.
He's a quick learner.
I'll give him that.

And this lil elf


well she found
a new passion
for running and jumping
on trampolines.
Considering they are
the youngest
in the play group
they don't
run as fast
jump as well
or climb
like the others.
But she watches
and then
she attempts
with her tiny lil body
she is NOT afraid.

In just one week
I can already see
how much more
they are able to do.

And speaking of
one week
this is what I have
been working on...
Remember
this day.
Well I finally
figured out
what I wanted
to do with
their very first
work of Art.

 

I'm happy with it.
The pictures of them
were taken
around the same time
they did
the hand and feet prints.
So yeah
it's a keeper!
It's gonna hang
at the end
of our hallway
so I can be inspired
everyday to
"just do it!"

And with that
I do
have lots
to just go do.
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