So I went back
for the first time
in 2 years
without the kids
with the intention
to work.
The End
of a school year
is not as simple
as it seems
part of the end
is preparing for
The New Beginning
and considering
I am part of
next year's
new beginning
I am part of
this year's
end.
So I used my
two hours on
Tuesdays time
without the kids
and drove to work
slightly excited
slightly nervous
the feeling that only
going to school
feels like
but mostly just
aware and open
I'm ready.
Today's goal
supplies
supplies
and more
Art supplies
what is there
what is missing
what is needed
what is re-useable
what is garbage
So I rang the doorbell
to my school building
and the office lady says,
How may I help you?
I stated my name
and then stuttered,
ummm I'm here
for supplies?!
HA, I mean really... huh
I am still laughing
right now.
Then I go to
check in at the office
after getting my budget
and supply bid list
I turn to leave
for my classroom
I peek back in
and say,
Do I need to
wear a name tag
or something?
and again I realize
duh... you work here
when the office lady
smiles and says,
I think we know you.
Oh yeah, right
clearly I needed
this visit!
So I finally
get to my classroom
and quietly walk
into a room
filled with students
and clay
and find my substitute
tucked in between
two students
giving a quick
hands on demonstration
and I am comforted
by this sight
home
this is where
I feel at home
and I am so
very very glad
I felt this
today.
I'm ready.
The next
hour and a half
flew by
and I found myself
hurriedly
wrapping things up
thinking ahead
making lists
finding copies
and essentially
creating homework
for myself
I felt like
the old me
but I wasn't
the old me
I was a combo me
a new me
mixed with the old
and what that
exactly means
I'm not sure
but I just got
a little taste
of her
today.
I got in my car
and left feeling
like a teacher
but also
like a mom
I knew
I was headed
to my real
home
and as overwhelming
as going back to work
and leaving with work
may have felt
it didn't seem
to overwhelm me
somewhere in the drive
gears shifted
roles changed
and what gets done
gets done
and what doesn't
will get done
eventually
I totally learned that
being a mom.
It will be
interesting
to say the least
come September
lots of new
challenges ahead
both as a mom
and as a teacher
but now I know
I'm ready.
You are ready! And it will be great. Being a teacher is the best job in the world. I do remember that first day back at teachers meetings - leaving Jed at daycare and returning after 5 months away. It was like coming home. Being a mom will make you a better teacher. And dealing with "the eye" has made you more compassionate to the differences in all your students (not that you weren't compassionate before). But I know see all my students and their differences and realize that they too have had hurdles to overcome. And I empathize. And you will too.
ReplyDeleteBut for now - enjoy the summer. August will be here before you know it.
(I find it interesting that several of us imoms are teachers...weird.)
Yay for the imoms that are teachers! I think as teachers we recognize the value in words and projects, which is why we blog. I agree that it is a very complementary relationship...the mom and teacher thing.
ReplyDeleteYou are going to be a rock star at both "jobs"!
And, Anderson does have a giant eye shirt! It s from Walmart and its a monsters inc shirt. Can't pass up the eye clothes!_
You are ready... and will be great at juggling both roles! This "imom" isn't a teacher, but I work with kids (and have for the past 12 years) and this eye thing has made me MUCH more compassionate, not just for the kids, but also for all the parents have to go through!
ReplyDelete