O Christmas Tree

O Christmas Tree
O Christmas Tree
O Christmas Tree
O Christmas Tree

and the song
goes on
and on
and on
with just those words
at different pitches
to the tune of the song.

My Dad used to
sing it to us
and still does
and now I sing it
to them
just like that
the only way
I know it.

Christmas does that
brings back
all the memories
like this
ceramic
Christmas tree.

It reminds me
so much
of my Grandma,
every year
she displayed hers
in the front window
on the table
that my monsters
now climb
all over
like a jungle gym.
I wonder what
she would
say about that now.

I never really
even liked the tree
growing up
it was rather small
hard and shinny
so not what
Christmas trees are.
And the lights
they just stick out
like spikes
on the edges
it kinda scared me
actually
when I was really young
but then something
changed.

I saw it
differently.
I like it now.
I like that it
sits on my kitchen counter
glowing
all different kinds
of bright colors.

I like that it
reminds me
of old Christmas
memories.
I guess
you could say
I've aquired a taste
an appreciation
for what it
represents.

Really don't all
Christmas trees
do that?!
Especially the ornaments
each one of them
tells a story
of all the Christmases
Past
Present
and Future.

I often wonder
what memories
the kids will have
if any
of this time
not just Christmas
but this time
with me.

I know
they are still
so very young
I have few
if any
memories
before the age
of two.

But sometimes
the day ends
and I just wonder
what was accomplished
what was learned
what was taught
what will be remembered.

Raising twins
has been a bit
of an organized
chaos
trial and error
live and learn
not ideal
not perfect

Just last night
bath night
I was dressing Easton
and Azalea was playing
she tripped
on his jammies
face first into the floor
instant swollen
bloody lip
the worst boo boo
so far.

Luckily Daddy
ran to the rescue
my hands were busy
naked boy
fresh out of the tub
was in my hands.
It's tough
sometimes
especially during the day
when I'm
on my own.

Also this weekend
I took out
Rick's contact
just to see
if I could
well I knew I could
but you know what I mean
he winced
he shuttered
the thought of
my fingers
headed for
his eye
it was just weird.

It reminded me
how in the beginning
it was hard
just to even attempt
going into
Easton's Eye.
I can only
imagine
what it's like
for him.

Memories
what will they
remember
who knows
at the end
of the day
I can only hope

the love
the laughter
the singing
the dancing
the playing
the praying

maybe even
this ceramic
Christmas tree
is what is
glowing
in their little
minds and hearts.

Maybe they will see
that it
along with
all the rest
of life
is more than
just
what you see.

It's more
there is more
It's what you
make of it
It's all of it.

 

O Christmas Tree
O Christmas Tree
We are busy
making memories!