Ok, I have to
confess.
I was having
a tough time
thinking of how
to post about
Thanksgiving,
the holiday of
graditude.
Lately, the Eye
has been rough
and that is
putting it mildly.
Contact time
in the morning
has left
my husband and I
dragging our feet
to get out of bed
knowing the battle
that lies ahead of us.
I can only imagine
what my lil big man
thinks about
contact time
if this is
how we feel.
And that is
what truly
breaks my heart.
But then
we have days
like today
when I literally
was praying
out loud...
oh baby boy
you are so brave
I am doing this
for you
you deserve this
I know it's hard
but
you will see
you will see
in the end
how much
I truly love you
and do this
for you
be strong
be still
and
you will see.
And Azalea
my sweet baby girl
is watching
and listening
to the entire
process.
Most days she is
such a trooper
so patient
so supportive
so empathetic
I speak to her too...
it's ok baby girl
you are such a
good lil sister
big smiles
be happy.
Don't blink
because
before I finished
my last prayer
DONE
contact on!
No rubbing
No poking
No fixing
No do overs
No crying
No resisting
No kicking
No screaming
No calming
No re-swaddling
DONE
1 2 3
DONE
And then I
exhale
and the graditude
floods in
and then it hits me
I know this is hard
I know tomorrow
will be different
But today
this moment
right now
I feel it
I am sooooo
incredibly
GRATEFUL
Not just for all
the things
that we know
we should
be grateful for
But for all
the things
that are
hard
that make us
better
that show us
what really
matters.
for the hard days
because
they make
the good days
feel soooooo
incredibly
GOOD.
May God Blessall my blog readers
whoever you are
be grateful.
I pray that you
literally get to
feel
graditude.
It rivals
love
literally.
It will make
you feel
way more full
than that
turkey dinner
ever will.
Trust me.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Love that last little picture. He seems like such a happy baby boy. So bubbly! You are doing great and you are doing the right thing for him. The fact that we continue, means we care. Love Azalea's boots, by the way. She looks so sweet and reserved, in pictures anyway. They look like polar opposites in every way.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Don't ever cut Easton's hair. jk Seriously though, it will make him look a year older overnight.
Love her boots!! I agree with Missy-they seem opposite and she will totally be shaped by her role with the Eye situation-supervisor, caregiver, observer. She is taking it all in and might even be an Eye doc one day. I agree about the hard days making the easy days (or minutes) seem so wonderful. You are doing so, so awesome with the contact. I understand about the dreading the Eye. This sounds awful but I was not nearly as excited as everyone I work with about the long weekend...It sounds so awful to say out loud. Of course I want to spend time with Anderson but the thought of the constant patching just makes my stomach hurt. Anyway, having you guys makes everything so much better!!
ReplyDeleteWe used to feel the same way in the morning...dragging our feet cause of the contact. But now she's wonderful. We've tamed the beast. And as happy as it makes me cause I don't have to fight her...my hubby was almost in tears. He feels like we broke her spirit....like she has no fight left in her =( Poor guy...so sensitive. LOL. I don't think we broke her spirit....she's just strong enough to say get it over with quick! I think the trick for us was the swaddle...we have an awesome one if you want to try a different swaddle...no way to get out of this sucker!
ReplyDeleteYou all are the best! I am soooo thankful for my Eye Moms, you have no idea!
ReplyDeleteMissy - I know I know about the hair! :) I am ready to cut but Daddy is hanging on. I am just enjoying the lion till he is tamed, ha.
Melissa - I've always known that Azalea is taking all this in but I never thought about it in a positive way... future Eye Dr. Love it! Of course it helps coming from another twins perspective. ;)
and Karla - You inspire me, you are the reason I can even put the darn contact in! I totally feel what your husband feels but I also feel Easton's strength too! We have good days and bad, he does tolerate it in the very very very beginning but the odd ball shape of his eye and contact make it very difficult to just slide on... only in a perfect world. I love our Anis and Aden swaddle blanket, it's the perfect size and much needed for contact time! I moved him from the changing table down to the floor. He has gotten so big that he can kick the end of the table and move too much for me to get to his eye. The floor move was an adjustment but needed.